I spoke at NOVA 52 this week on a gap that keeps costing survivors their kids — the disconnect between military and civilian protective orders.
Too often, a survivor does not get the civilian protective order because of barriers: no license, no transportation, no child care, no money for an attorney — not realizing it matters, or assuming the military process is enough (it's not). Then a court reads that gap as her being reactive instead of proactive in a custody case, after her spouse files for emergency custody alleging that she is the danger and her children are given to the offender. What could have been a situation where she had at least temporary custody and time to get back to her kids' home state to file becomes a battle in a place where she has no support. Regardless, it is months and sometimes years before it is resolved, and in the meantime the children are separated from the parent who was likely their primary caregiver.
At the end of my session, when I asked "what one step will you take" to prevent this from happening, an audience member raised her hand and said she'd already texted her office to connect with a local organization before I'd even finished talking. This is why we show up.
At NOVA I also got to finally meet Christy Heiskala in person — a living example of this year's theme "Stronger Together" and a living testimony to what she was preaching at her talk. Months ago, after we connected on LinkedIn and had a Zoom call, she connected me with a survivor all the way across the country in California, who was outside both our reach, but not outside our network. It was wonderful to realize I'm now representing that survivor — something she was not aware of until we met in person.
Thanks to NOVA and the over 1,800 who attended, and the opportunity to learn, share, and connect.
Ruth's Truth: You never have to tell a survivor "I can't help you" because someone in your network can if you take the time to invest in it.
#StrongerTogether #NOVA52 #MilitarySexualTrauma #ProtectiveOrders #CustodyLaw #MilitaryFamilies